There's Something Wrong With Me

I probably should pick a different title for this. People are going to jump the gun and think I'm dying of some disease, like that disease that killed Mr. Freeze's wife in Batman & Robin. There's nothing wrong with me, health wise. I plan on living a long, long time.

(boo! said the audience)

First and foremost, sorry for the absence for the past year and some change. I'm not really sure what happened. I intended to write on this thing more but, well, the time slips away, leaves you with nothing, mister, but boring stories of me not writing on my blog. GLORY DAYS YEAH THEY'LL PASS YOU BY!!!

But for real, I wanted to write more but I just didn't. You can blame podcasting. You can blame my job. You can blame me focusing on TikTok (I still have that btw). But don't blame it on the rain. The rain is an innocent man and it didn't do anything to hurt you!

I promise I'm not just gonna make random music references the entire time. Ok, I can't promise that. 

MY POINT is I want to get back to it (again). But while that was happening, another revelation was happening inside my brain. My poor, poor brain. I'm an indecisive asshole. I can't make a decision worth dick.  So I've cut back on the podcasting (I only host, produce, and edit 198 shows, instead of 212! PROGRESS!) and I have a few free evenings on my hands. So I've decided to take that opportunity to watch...something.

The future did end up a bit like the one in Back to the Future Part 2, where Marty, Jr. turns on the TV, turns it to like 15 channels, and watches all of them at once. Replace 15 with, like, 500, and you got our modern life. So when I have a few hours to myself and I want to watch something, I spend almost an hour, maybe two, scrolling through all the streaming platforms I have (I have several, don't judge) looking for either a movie or TV show to catch my eye. 

Me, trying to pick something to watch....DOES THAT SAY THE SUPER INFLATABLE TIT?!?!?!

I've been a bit worn out on TV shows lately, honestly. Why is everything a TV show now? Did Widow's Bay need to be a TV show? Or The Pitt? Or that one show about that one guy who does the one thing? That one! Couldn't it have been a movie? Now I have to invest into a TV show and watch 8 hours of a thing instead of 2 hours? Ugh. But any event, I sometimes don't land on a TV show cause the commitment, you know?

Then that leaves a movie and I have TOO many choices. Not only do I have all the movies I own, but all the movies that's on streaming sites AND that I can rent for 3 bucks.

MID POST RANT THAT I FELT LIKE I MADE BEFORE!

People complaining about paying 3.99 to rent a movie from Amazon or YouTube, that's about how much it cost to rent it from a video store. Yes, I rather GO TO a video store and pick the movie myself. But its essentially the same thing. Just rent the VOD for 3 days and move on with your life.

Anyway, I cannot make up my mind to save my life. Then I get frustrated and overwhelmed, turn the TV off, and watch board game videos on YouTube until I pass out from exhaustion. So, the other day I decided to do something about this. And this is where you all are going to shake your heads, feel sorry for me, and block me on whatever social media that's not overtaken by MAGA assholes. 

I decided to let fate pick what I watch. When I watch something for a podcast, I don't hesitate because I "have to". But when I'm making the decision, I lock up mentally and soon I'm looking like Mitch McConnell returning to work. (This was a timely reference/joke in September 2026. If you're reading this in the far future, that dead guy sitting in McConnell's spot was technically alive as I'm writing this. Leave in the comments how they Weekend at Bernie's him.)

Anyway, I did what I do best: make lists. And find lists. And numbered those lists. 

This is going to require a lot of explanations. Bare (bear?) with me.

Number 1 are the films in The Criterion Closet. I'm sure you've all seen the videos on YouTube/Reels/TikToks of a famous people picking movies and talking about them. Isn't it wild that Tom Hanks gets to walk into a closet full of movies, talk about them for 5 minutes, and get 8-10 DVDs FOR FREE?! Fucking famous people. Getting free shit all the time...

 Anyway, someone, maybe Criterion themselves, put all the movies in the closet on a website and helpfully numbered them. And I have The Criterion Channel because I'm secretly a snooty film cinephile that likes to drink brandy (Not Brandy, remember?) and shit like that. Also I like to expand my palette of movies.

Number 2 is, well, my movie collection. I made a TikTok video explaining this, made one video and then stopped because when I did it two more times, I got Poltergeist and Lethal Weapon and couldn't think of anything fun or interesting to say about them that was worth the trouble of making a TikTok. So I will be moving that here and when I land on an interesting thing to talk about, I'll write about it and mention what other movies I landed on, but didn't bother discussing.

Number 3 was another thing I started, going through all the A24 horror movies. I reviewed Men last year. Then I stopped. Again, not sure why. But let's try again!

Numbers 4, 5, and 8 were these posts I found on Instagram that named movies in a genre that weren't "mainstream", except some of them are, but whatever. This may have some overlap with movies I own and/or The Criterion Closet but I'll act accordingly.

Number 6 was a list I started, whenever anyone said "Jason you should watch this movie", I pull up the file on my phone and type it in. I got a few on there now and will continue to expand on it.

Number 7 was the newest idea I had. I typically only watch the first episode of a TV show and give up and ponder if I should continue watching the show. I decided to continue doing that with the 9 million TV shows that now exist in the world. 

Number 9 I think is obvious. IMDb has a list of the top rated 250 movies on IMDb. I contemplated the bottom list but...I co-hosted a bad movie podcast for almost 10 years. I need a fucking break, yo. I'll GLANCE at it from time to time, but no promises.

Number 10 was this thing I saw online one time, where you scratch off a card and it lists a movie and you go watch that movie. I was going to make a video about it but never got to it, plus they didn't pay me so fuck 'em. 

Still with me? Thanks for putting up with all this. I admit it's madness and really fucking weird. But it's kinda fun at the same time. And it's not a big hassle. I just randomly choose something to watch and watch it. Then maybe I'll write about it, maybe I won't. Yes, not everything I watch this way will be written about here, don't worry. I may write SOME things. 

And to think, I almost made this a video, god that would've been insufferable. 

So, my friends, thank you for reading this. I will try to write more in the future on this blog. Not just stuff I watched, stuff I'm doing and whatnot. I think blogging is a lost art nowadays and I really want to lead the charge in it's come back! Let's do it, everybody! LET'S BLOG!!!! PUT THE PHONES DOWN AND BLOG GODDAMMIT!!! 

YEAH!!!!

-Jason